Judging by recent articles in the popular press, one might be forgiven for assuming that all millennials and post-millennials are self-absorbed, entitled, apathetic, gadget-addicted creatures, with the attention span of an rabid monkey on caffeine.

This characterization is unfair on two counts. We are judging and labeling an entire generation that has yet to come into its own and prove itself. Second, if they have any shortcomings, it’s we boomers who are to blame, for not doing a better job of parenting.

As a group, young adults today face unique opportunities as well as challenges that earlier generations have not had to grapple with. To this end, below are 9 pieces of advice and assurance for young adults.

1. You are not alone.

It’s a sad reflection on society when in our hyperconnected world we can still feel lonely and isolated. This is largely because we have been conditioned to not open up about our issues. Because they may show vulnerability that others might exploit. Because they make us sound weak. Because they may “reflect badly” on us or our family or our community or……

One of the key misconceptions young persons today have is that their problems and issues are distinct and unshared. They’re not. Yes, individual circumstances may differ greatly. But the underlying anxieties, frustrations, worries, hopes, insecurities, and fears are universal.

Talking about it with one’s peers will help you realize that these issues are common to most people in your generation, regardless of race, caste, color or creed. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to, to share your thoughts and feelings with. Talking about your issues makes it easier on two counts: you can see how others are handling them, and just the act of articulating and speaking about them can render the issues a whole lot more manageable.

2. It’s okay to not have it all figured out

It’s great having goals and aspirations. It gives you something to shoot for, a direction in which to focus your energies. But you have to be equally mindful of not channeling your parents’ hopes, aspirations and fears, picked up via subtle clues or overt pushiness and badgering.

Too many young people see college as a default option, because they don’t know what else to do. Spend some time reflecting on why you want to go to college and what you expect to get out of it. If you’re not sure, join the fast-growing number of young people who are opting to take a gap year between high school and college, or even once they’re in college. This will allow you to assess your interests and explore new ones. You can then return energized, more focused, and with a better sense of direction. And you’ll get so much more out of your college experience thereafter. At that point, the right college program can be a very worthwhile investment of time, money and energy.

3. Explore!

One of the main reasons I see young people confused and suffering is because of the mixed message we parents give them. We tell them early on that they can be anything they want to be, and then spend the rest of the time imposing “practical” limitations on them. Don’t let anyone limit your possibilities.

The costs of exploration are greatly reduced when you’re young. A few missteps or wrong turns are not going to bring human civilization or your life to a screeching halt. And while you’re at it, remove the word failure from your thinking and your vocabulary. Experiences that turn out differently from what you sought or wanted are simply opportunities to learn from – nothing more, nothing less.

And don’t worry about finding your purpose. The more you explore, the more you will be exposed to new ideas and thoughts, to people and places that may catch your interest, and the more likely is it for your to find something that speaks to you.

So step outside your comfort zone, open your mind and heart, and trust in yourself. Take risks. Be reckless. Do stuff. Just because.

4. Get to know yourself.

A huge benefit of exploration is not only learning about the external world, but perhaps more important, about yourself. One of the best gifts you can give yourself is self-understanding.

Consciously and purposefully examine your likes and dislikes, patterns and habits. You can use this knowledge to great effect. You’ll learn what motivates and inspires you. What elevates your mood and what brings you down. All of this can help you to evaluate what kind of college, job, living environment, etc. will make you happy and satisfied, in which you’ll thrive and succeed.

5. Everything is just a story

Everything!

We’ve been telling ourselves stories since the dawn of civilization. It’s how we make sense of the world around us, and of our place in that world. We create stories to explain the unknown, because if we can explain it, we can control the narrative and hopefully wield some measure of control over the inherent randomness of life.

Some stories turn into myths, beliefs and religions, some into science. Every story was created by someone, somewhere, and has been edited many times before reaching you.

Do not get too caught up with any one story. Keep an open mind. Hear different stories. They’ll help you understand people (and yourself) better.

6. Find your tribe and engage them in your dreams

As you move through life, you will realize pretty quickly that what matters at the end of the day is the relationships you have. Family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors. So it is important you find the “right” group, the people with whom you share values and vision.

It’s never too early to start building social capital. Seek out your tribe. Genuinely care about people and make them feel good. These bonds of empathy are what sustain us and our dreams.

7. Develop good habits early

According to neuroscientists, our thoughts and actions form neural pathways. These pathways get strengthened through repetition and practice, until they become automatic, and unconsciously ingrained as habits. This is why habits are so hard to break – they require us to break old pathways and form new ones, which take conscious effort and energy.

Making small positive changes in thought and action and then repeating them can lead to good habits of mind and body being developed early. These will serve you well for the rest of your life. It gets progressively more difficult to make those same changes later in life.

8. This is not your parents’ world any more

As parents, we want the best for our children. But we don’t have all the answers, and all too often we are preparing you for a world that doesn’t exist any more. What worked for us won’t work for you, simply because the world has changed.

So why do parents still persist in pushing their agenda on you? Because we don’t always see the changes, or their extent. When we do acknowledge them, we may not know how best to deal with them. Or we may be simply trying to relive our own lost opportunities and unrequited desires through you.

9. Write your own story

Do not conform to someone else’s norm. You are not your parent, grandparent, teacher, sibling, friend, or cult hero. You are you.

Yes, you share a lot in common with other people, but there is something unique and individual and special about you. The traits, characteristics, dreams and ideas that makes you, you.

We all have our own stories to write, and a lifetime in which to write them. Don’t try to replicate anyone else’s story. And do not allow anyone to author yours, either through coercion or by seeking their validation.

In conclusion, realize that this world will one day be entrusted to your generation. At that point, you will have become the “system”, the “man.” You will then have the opportunity to define the world in your image.

What kind of world will you create?